Diary of A Modern Gran | The Parents Go Away!

By Jane Corry

Illustration: Istockphoto

It was my idea! I suggested that my daughter and son-in-law had a four-day break while I looked after Rose, 6 and George 4. We had a great time – although I had to keep my wits about me!

Day One

Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Literally! My duties start with Rose’s swimming lesson at 5.45pm. We don’t get home until gone 6.30, by which time everyone is hungry and fractious. Following instructions, I wash Rose’s hair first before supper time because it’s still wet from the pool.

This means that bed time is a lot later than usual. Rose seems very accepting of the fact that her parents are away but George keeps asking for Daddy. My son-in-law usually sings The ants go marching to get George to sleep. But my rendition is not as effective and it’s nearly 10 o’clock before I finally manage to get George to go to sleep. My daughter and son-in-law have sent various “Is everything alright” messages and of course I’ve assured them that all is well!

I wake up several times during the night and tiptoe along the landing to make sure they’re all right. Daughter and son-in-law send text in the small hours to say they’ve arrived safely. So glad. I really want them to have a break.

Day Two

George wakes up at 6am. He’s wet the bed which doesn’t often happen.

I tell him that it really doesn’t matter and strip the linen. Then I receive a furious phone call from my almost 99-year-old father. “Where is everyone?” My sister and I, along with the help of Adult Social Care, had arranged for carers to come in but the rota had changed and he’s not impressed. Oh dear. It takes some time to sort this out which isn’t easy when you’re watching a lively four and six-year-old.

Thank goodness my eldest son is around before he goes back to work in Spain. He’s a great help!

We take the children to a lovely local country park with rides on a little train where we stop to feed the deer. I can see why my daughter likes to take the children out during the day. It helps to burn off the energy! Back to our place for tea where I manage to scorch the fish fingers twice. Third time lucky!

Rose discovers the chess set and begs my husband to teach her how to play. George gets frustrated and decides it’s much more fun to hurl the pieces round the room. I receive an editorial question on an article I’ve written and try to send off an email while my husband continues the chess lesson. Back to their place to clear out the guinea pigs but Rose is upset because her loose tooth is hurting. Half an hour later, it comes out! I text my daughter to find out the protocol. Apparently, Rose needs to write a letter to Melody the fairy and Melody has to write one back in swirly letters. The going rate is 50p but Melody can only find a pound coin. So Rose is in luck! George goes to sleep happily.

There have been lots of “Is everything alright?” texts and video calls from my daughter and son-in-law during the day. “Yes!” I say. “It’s great.”

And it is. I love looking after them although I am constantly aware of the responsibility.

Day Three

Off to a different country park with another train ride! They love it. This is actually part of a feature I’ve written for a national newspaper so we are being photographed at the same time! It doesn’t seem that long ago since I was writing funny articles about being a mummy for the same newspaper. How time flies. Yet at other times, it seems to go slowly. Life can be strange that way, can’t it?

Meanwhile, I’m a bit worried about George’s face. After his bump following a playground fall, he’s developed a skin rash under his other eye. So I take him to our medical centre and queue up. We are seen by one of the nurses who prescribes some antibacterial cream. Then my sister rings for a chat about Daddy. He can’t afford 24/7 care for much longer. He’s always said he doesn’t want to go into a home but now he is coming round to the idea. We just want what’s best for him but it’s so difficult.

“How many more sleeps until Mummy and Daddy come back?” asks George. Rose and I distract him with Spirit on my iPad. If you haven’t discovered this cartoon series, it’s about a little girl and her horse. I’m becoming quite addicted. Meanwhile, the washing pile is mounting up. I can’t understand how their washing machine works so I’m going to take it round to our place tomorrow. I go to bed at 9pm. Exhausted!

Day Four

We play pitch and putt in the local putting green. One of the biggest lessons is learning to let the people in front take their turn before we charge into their game! The children and I then drive my eldest son – known as Uncle Wow because he makes the children laugh – to the station. I feel rather sad because he’s going back to Spain (via America ) to work. We won’t see him until Christmas.

“We’ll miss you, Uncle Wow!” call out the children. My heart wrenches. It doesn’t seem that long ago since he was as young as George. In fact, he looked very much like his nephew at that age.

Then something extraordinary happens. I receive a phone call from my childhood best friend with whom I’d lost touch with some years ago. She is on holiday in our seaside town and had seen me from the top of the bus when we were leaving pitch and putt. We plan to meet up the next day.

Meanwhile, the children are very excited because Mummy and Daddy are coming back tomorrow. They write “welcome home” cards and I try to clear up the household mess. But oh no. There is a call from the carer to say that my dad’s catheter is blocked and the ambulance is on its way because he’s in so much pain. It takes a few hours to arrive and when it does, they can’t treat him at home. He has to go to hospital.

I don’t sleep because I know he’ll be very anxious. I can’t get George to sleep until 10pm. Then a doctor from the hospital rings at 2.30am to check on Daddy’s medical history. For some reason, they can’t seem to access it from the online records. Luckily they’ve been able to sort out the catheter but because of his age, they need to check on a few things. George then wakes up in the middle of the night. I get him back to sleep but suddenly it’s 7am and Rose is awake.

Day Five

Technically, the last few lines were part of day five! George is still asleep at 8am but I wake him because the children have a tennis lesson at 9. Afterwards, we go to meet my old childhood best friend. It’s so lovely to see her! We start chatting as though we had only seen each other yesterday. Talk about coincidence. She didn’t even know we lived in this town and it had just been chance that she’d spied us from a bus while visiting. She is enchanted by Rose and George.

Meanwhile, we’re all getting very excited about Mummy and Daddy coming home.

My husband goes to get them from the airport and the children and I go back to their place for their return.

“They’re here!” calls out Rose. The children throw themselves into their parents’ arms and my daughter and son-in-law hold them tight.

I’m just relieved that I’ve managed to keep them safe. It’s a huge compliment that they entrusted me with them.

Then I get a call to say my dad is home from hospital and all seems well. I’ve been reunited with my old best friend. But there’s something else!

“Look,” says my son-in-law, showing the children a picture on his phone. “You’ve got a new cousin!”

Yes! His Welsh niece has given birth to a beautiful baby girl today.

What a lovely ending to the week.

The Funny Things They Say

This one came from my four year old grandson.

Him: “Why do pavements have cracks?”

Me: “It’s because they’re getting older.”

Him: “Is that why your neck has cracks?”

That boy definitely knows how to pay a compliment!

Ask Agony Gran

“I’m always talking about my grandchildren at work. But one of the other women I work with, recently told me that she wished I wouldn’t go on about them. I feel rather hurt about that.” Name withheld

Jane says:

“I think you’ve touched on a really interesting point here. I talk a lot about my grandchildren too but I’ve learned to be quite careful about who I discuss them with. Some of my friends would love to have grandchildren so it’s difficult for them. It reminds me of the time when I was having problems conceiving my first child and everyone else around me seemed to be getting pregnant.

“I don’t see why you should stop talking about your grandchildren at work. But maybe you could turn the conversation round to other subjects. Instead, you could save the family chat for your granny friends. At the same time, this is a reminder for us all to count our blessings.”

Things To Do With Your Grandchildren

My granddaughter and I have just finished reading a lovely book by Julia Donaldson and Rebecca Cobb about paper dolls. It inspired me to make some paper dolls with Rose.

I thought I could remember how but I kept snipping the wrong folds of paper! So we resorted to YouTube for a demonstration.

Here are our results! It’s great fun and we plan to do some more tomorrow!

Grandad of the Week – Chas

Thank you so much to Chas for writing in about his week.

“I did not have any children but when I re-married in 2005 I took on two stepsons, one of whom has now had two boys that I regard as my grandsons.

“Jackson is 12 and he attends a school where his mum, Claire, is a Teaching Assistant. His younger brother Robson is 10 and is at the local primary school.

“I love having step-grandchildren. They are grandchildren to me. I have always had a particular connection to Jackson as his Mum and Dad were living with us when he was born, so I have seen him grow up from a baby.

“We do the school run two or three times a week picking them up from school and waiting with them until Mummy gets home. Robson loves playing games – computer games, board games and more active things like ping pong, pool and he loves football – I like watching him play football and I have taken him more than once to see the team I support, Matlock Town. Unfortunately, myself and their Mamma are not so active these days but their Uncle Allan (my older stepson who lives with us) helps out a lot in this regard. Jackson often wants time to himself when he gets home from school but also likes lots of hugs and tickles. We also have trips out with them.

“They both call me Grandpa (although Jackson sometimes gets confused and calls me Grandma!).

“I am not sure what advice I could give except that I just treat them as though they are my grandsons.

“Not being a parent myself, it was a steep learning process as they grew up but I can say that I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

“I try and be impartial when it comes to rule-setting but unfortunately I am a bit of a softie with them!

“They made the picture (right) for me.”

Claire, mum of Jackson and Robson added, “You are their grandpa, genetics don’t make family, it’s the love, support and time that you invest that do.”

So true!

Looking For A New Book To Read?

Do you have a secret? Emily does. But when she goes home to look after her dad, she finds more than she bargained for. You can read more in WE ALL HAVE OUR SECRETS by Jane Corry, published by Penguin Viking at £7.99. On sale in bookshops, supermarkets and online. Available in paperback, audio and eBook