Diary of A Modern Gran | Granny Gets The Bug


Lady chasing pram Illustration: Istockphoto

We’re crawling around the floor of the library in search of bugs.

“There’s one!” squeals five-year-old George, pointing to the bottom shelf of the Crime section.

He’s right.

Now I should say here that I’m not very keen on bugs. But luckily this is just a picture of one, rather than the real thing. There are eight to find in total and this is our first discovery.

Thank goodness for our local library! It’s holding a nature explorer week over half term which is very useful when it comes to amusing my grandchildren, seven-year-old Rose and five-year-old George.

“There’s another!” calls out Rose triumphantly. She’s right. This one is lurking near Romance.

Then we get stuck. Where on earth are the other pictures? “I think you’ll find some more towards there,”  says a grandad who is on his hands and knees too.

Eventually we gather the required number and get our certificate. I say “our” because I feel I’ve earned it too! So do the librarians who organised a “make your own bug” activity, using paper and glue.

It was also a nice way to meet other grandparents. The couple I was sitting next to during our make-a-paper-bug session, had their grandchildren staying for the week while their daughter worked in London. We all agreed that half terms are great but that, like all school holidays, they do pose a challenge for working parents – and working grandparents.

Later that day, I have an important zoom meeting with my editor. So my husband amuses Rose and George by building a dinosaur model. (In fact, I suspect he wants to do it more than they do.)

The following day we go to our newly vamped playground. Oh my goodness. Does anyone else get worried about anything that’s higher than two feet? Yet my two don’t seem to know any fear. I’m also getting squinty eyed again –  like swimming last week – by trying to watch them both at the same time.

“Please,” I beg. “You have to go on the same piece of equipment at the same time so I can watch you.”

“But Gan Gan,” says Rose, hands on hips, “what about the zip wire? We can only go one at a time on that.”

She has a point.

We also do some other crazy things like having lunch in a tent in the sitting room. This is much more interesting than sitting at the kitchen table with me trying to get George to sit still. (He’s a real wriggler!)

The next day is Valentine’s Day. It reminds me of my own grandmother who used to send me a card every year when I was a teenager so I didn’t feel disappointed. I didn’t cotton on until I was 21! Isn’t that sweet?

The day after that, we go for a walk with grandad (on his crutch) and the dog, along with a backpack provided by the library as part of nature week.

There are even magnifying glasses included which gets us all very excited.

“Look,” I say, pointing to some bark. “There are some bugs underneath.”

“I don’t think I like them after all,” says George in a small voice.

So instead, we collect some moss and nuts and other bits and pieces for the library nature table. But oh no! As we’re laying out our wares, I can see something move! It’s an insect. No it’s not. There are two insects!

“Help,” I squeal. Then I gently lift them up with a leaf and deposit them outside in a flowerbed. Thank goodness for that. I don’t want to be responsible for infesting the library!

After that, I felt we needed a restful period. So we did some painting at the kitchen table. Rose wants to draw a horse so I find an old china model which I had loved at her age. “Please don’t break it,” I say. Isn’t it strange how things from our childhood still fill us with love?

“I won’t,” she says sweetly and proceeds to treat it with great care.

On the last day of half term, my daughter asked me to take the children to the dentist for their regular check up. Guess who we met? That’s right. Snow White! Seriously. Her assistants are dressed up as a tiger and another nursery rhyme character who I can’t quite place. Apparently they dress up for children to put them at their ease. I can’t help thinking that it might go down well with adults too.

There’s even a cartoon video in front of the chair. George was rather keen on staying put to finish it but was persuaded to get down so Rose could be checked.

Then we were told that the NHS dentist was about to leave. That means that in the future, there will only be private treatment available.  Oh dear. It’s hard enough for most of us  to make ends meet as it is. Now we’ll have to try and find an NHS dentist in the area.

On the last day of half-term, we head off to a local beach with the library nature backpack and microscope. “Gan Gan. Is that a fosssil?” asks George.

The truth is that I’m not sure. It might be. But I need to ask an expert like someone at our local museum. So I carefully tuck it in my top pocket.

Then we collect Grandad, who’s been sitting on a bench, and make our way back to the car. But what’s that? Crazy Golf! I hadn’t spotted this before. Now I don’t know about you but I love a bit of crazy golf. It’s not serious like the real thing. But it also requires a bit of skill. And it’s great for the whole family.

There’s just one problem. You have to go into an an amusement arcade to buy the Crazy Golf tickets. Rose and George’s eyes are round with wonder. I’m not surprised. There are several slot machines, each one with wonderful prizes to be one.

“You might spend lots of pennies without winning anything,” I warn them.

“Pleese,” they say with a double “e”.

As my daughter will tell you, there’s one word, I’m not very good at. It has two letters. Yes – that’s right. It’s “no”.

“Alright then,” I groan. “But you can only have five 10p pieces each.”

The money vanishes within minutes. Possibly seconds. “You know,” I say. “If you had kept it, you might have been able to buy something in the toy shop.”

Their faces fall.

“Luckily,” I add, “I’ve kept the rest of the change. You can put it in your money boxes when you get home.”

“Well done,” says Grandad. “That’s quite a good lesson for them to learn.”

I hope so. I don’t want to be responsible for any gaming habits.

We go home, exhausted but happy with sand in our pockets alongside jingling coins for the savings boxes. I sleep like a log that night. But I wake up feeling rather flat. It’s not half term any more. I’m no longer needed.

Later that day, the phone rings. It’s my daughter. She’s taken them to an adventure park and they’re coming back past our house.

“Would you like to come over for tea,” I say. “Yes please,” they say.

My heart fills. When my children were small, I often used to try and write from home and look after them at the same time. But I’ve learned my lesson.

My work can wait until tomorrow. These days are precious.

Ask Agony Gran

“My husband was married before and his son from his first marriage has just had a little boy. He is thrilled about being a grandfather but I’m not sure whether I’m going to be seen as a grandmother or not. My husband says that I am but I’m not related by blood. Can you give me any advice?” Linda

Jane says:

Dear Linda,

First of all, congratulations. A new baby is always something to be celebrated.  However, I understand your dilemma and so, I am sure, will some of our readers. Blended families, as the term goes, are more and more common.

Have you talked this over with your husband’s son and partner? Or do you feel awkward about this? If so, maybe your husband could talk to them on your behalf and ask if they’d like you to be called “granny” or whether the baby will grow up to know you by your first name.

It might help to establish the formalities first of all. However, coming from a blended family myself, I think the important thing is to keep relations as amical as possible. Grandparents by marriage can be a great blessing. At the same time, one needs to tread carefully sometimes around blood grandparents so they don’t get offended.

I understand that you don’t want to put anyone else’s nose out of joint but there is nothing to stop you buying a present for the new baby and, as he grows up, to show interest. I am sure your husband will appreciate this too. Good luck.

Do you have a problem? Let us know in confidence by emailing moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

The Funny Things They Say

“My grandson is eight and quite good at maths. When his mother said that school was going back after half-term, he asked, ‘When will we get a quarter term?’” Hilary, Oxfordshire

Jane says: Wow, Hilary. Your grandson’s maths sounds better than mine!

Please send any “funnies” to us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Family News

Not sure what to play – or how to play – with your grandchildren? New research suggests that we should let the children take the lead.

I can see the point but when I asked my grandchildren what they wanted to do this half-term, they said, “Watch the iPad”. This can certainly be educational and fun. But if it had been up to them, they’d have watched it all day! In my view it’s a balance of their suggestions for play and yours – providing it’s safe.

What do you think? You can email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Your Feedback

Thanks for your emails about swimming, both for children and adults. I was particularly moved by this one from Sam in Warwickshire.

“I was scared of swimming as a child so I never learned. But when my children were born, I felt I had to start. So I took adult lessons at our local swimming pool. I’m really glad I did because now I take my grandchildren swimming every weekend. You’re never too old to learn!”

Where To Take The Grandchildren

Every week, we’re going to suggest an outing for grandchildren in different parts of the country. If you’d like to suggest somewhere, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

This time we head to Newham Grange Country Farm, Wykeham Way, Coulby Newham, Middlesbrough, North Yorkshire, TS8 0TG. Tel: 01642 515729. Website: newhamgrangefarm.co.uk

Get a breath of fresh air at this lovely farm where you can pet small animals, go on mini tractors and explore the maze. Disabled facilities available. Closed on Mondays.

Children’s Book of the Week

Mathematics book

Enjoy this one with your grandchildren.

That’s Mathematics by Tom Lehrer, Chris Smith (author), Elina Braslina (illustrator) £11.99. Published by Mama Makes Books.

A fun way of enjoying numbers! Aimed at 5-8 year olds.


Jane's Books

JANE CORRY writes family dramas for Penguin. Seven of her novels have been in the Sunday Times Top Ten. To find out more, visit her website www.janecorryauthor.com where you can sign up for her newsletter to get a free short story.