Diary of A Modern Gran | Granny Recalls Easter Memories
Easter always brings back childhood memories for me. Does it for you?
As a child, I remember winning the big Easter egg raffle prize at the local newsagent. I couldn’t believe it when my yellow ticket matched the winning number!
I also recall the excitement of getting an egg from my parents. In those days, we only got one apiece. It seemed quite enough at the time.
I know my grandchildren will get lots of chocolate bunnies etc from everyone else in the family. But I’ve still got to buy them some! It’s part of a grandparent’s job description. So I dash round the corner to our supermarket. The shelves are half-empty. Clearly everyone else has bought ahead.
But – yes! There’s a cute Peter Rabbit soft toy with an egg and – phew – there are two of them. This means that neither of my grandchildren will feel they’ve been treated unfairly. (I still recall the year when my sister got a whopper and I was told I was ‘too old’ for an egg.)
‘They look lovely,’ says a woman, eyeing my catch. ‘I wish my grandchildren were still young enough for those.’
Personally I don’t think you’re ever too old for soft toys or chocolate, but we fell into conversation and had a nice chat. Her grandchildren are teenagers, although she didn’t look old enough – perhaps she started young.
‘How lovely,’ I said, thinking what fun I will (hopefully) have with Rose and George when they’re older.
‘It is,’ she said. ‘But I do worry about them driving.’
Driving? The very thought of either Rose or George at the wheel fills me with terror. To think that my granddaughter will be legally able to take to the road in ten years’ time! They’ve already got their beady eyes on my car – a very old two-seater which I never drive because I cycle everywhere. It’s why the battery is currently flat….
Meanwhile, I take both Peter Rabbits home to give to the children later on. My son-in-law and daughter each have had a week off work to be with the children. Then they’re going to their lovely Welsh grandparents and after that I have my grandchildren for a week until school starts again.
I’m already planning lots of activities to keep them busy. We’re going to make coronation crowns, bunting, paint the kitchen table – whoops, I mean paint ON the kitchen table – and go for walks. I’m also hoping to get some writing and maths exercises in, but I plan to do that first thing in the morning before they get too tired.
But before that I have something else to do. I’m on my way to London to spend time with my youngest son who is about to turn 32. Sometimes I can’t believe it! Do you feel that way about your children?
We’re going to the Rossetti exhibition – so exciting! – and then to the theatre. This is a real treat. Theatre seats don’t come cheap but again, they are all part of the memory box. I remember my Godmother taking me to see Ginger Rogers in Mame during the sixties. You can’t put a price on that!
I have a lovely evening with my son and his girlfriend although I do miss my grandchildren. We all have a What’sApp family video call (how did we manage without those?) and then the next day, I meet up with my sister to scatter our father’s ashes.
It’s been four months since he died but in a way we’ve needed this time to process our thoughts. It’s a little confusing because our father gave us both different instructions.
He told me that he wanted his ashes scattered down one footpath where he used to walk the dogs with his mother as a teenager during the war. And he told my sister that he wanted his ashes scattered along another footpath, a mile up the road. So we covered both, along with a handful of wild flower seeds.
It is a beautiful day. The sun is warm and as we scatter, we talk about shared memories like the time Daddy would make us kites out of wrapping paper and balsa wood.
My train journey back home feels surreal. In fact, my head is so muddled that I manage to lose my credit cards between getting off the underground at Waterloo and the main station.
It is nothing compared with putting my father to rest but my mind goes into a blind panic. After half an hour of rushing round and asking officials, I discover that some kind soul has handed them in to the ticket office. Thank you.
My train journey home is fraught with public transport delays. I am still queuing for yet another replacement bus when the phone rings. It’s our local library.
‘You won the raffle!’ says a cheery voice. Just like I did as a child!
I call my daughter. ‘You’ve won the library raffle,’ she repeats to Rose and George!
‘We won! YES!’
I can hear the magic and wonder in their voices.
‘Remember when it was lockdown and you had to leave the children’s eggs on the doorstep,’ says my son in law.
I do. It broke my heart not to be with the children.
‘We weren’t sure if the virus could spread through touch so we put them outside for 48 hours,’ he continued.
My goodness. I’d forgotten that part. It makes me appreciate the ‘here and now’ even more.
Easter will have passed by the time you read this. But spring is well and truly with us and the summer lies ahead.
Isn’t it wonderful how the cycle of life continues throughout the generations, past and present?
Ask Agony Gran
‘My son is 19 and has just told me that his girlfriend is pregnant. They are both excited and worried because they can’t afford a place of their own. There’s talk of them moving in with me but I can’t help worrying about how that would work out. I don’t have much space either. I know this is awful but I don’t really feel ready to go through the baby stage just yet.” Name withheld
Jane says:
You must all feel in a bit of a muddle at the moment. But your last line really rang bells in my head. I’m not sure that many of us are ready for an unexpected stage in our lives. It’s only later that we often look back and think, ‘I’m glad that happened’ or ‘We got through that.’
‘Sometimes it’s hard to see an unborn baby as a real person. But I wouldn’t mind betting that when your grandchild is born, everything will feel different. You will have a warm little person in your arms who will love you and whom you will love. Yes – of course you will have all the practical problems to cope with, including the adjustment if they move in with you. But the joy of new life will help you deal with what lies ahead.
‘I suggest that you and your son and his girlfriend find out what financial benefits you’re entitled to. Talk to the Citizens’ Advice Bureau as a start. Can the girlfriend’s parents help?
‘I’m also going to tell you all something quite personal. I was an unexpected baby and my parents moved in with my paternal grandmother when she was just 49 back in the fifties. As a result, my grandmother and I forged a bond which is with me to this day even though she passed away thirty years ago. Initially, she also felt too young to be a granny which is why my sister (born later) and I had to call her by her first name.
‘You may feel you’re not ready to be a granny but you might change your mind. Good luck.’
If you would like advice, do get in touch at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Your Feedback…
Thanks for your comments on my column last week about whether traditional granny skills are dying out. Here’s a selection:
‘I’ve taught my ten-year-old grandson to make lasagne and he’s taught me to open a Twitter account!’
Bella, Swindon
‘I’ve never been great at sewing or cooking. But my grandchildren and I love painting crockery and making jewellery.’
Anne, Northamptonshire
‘I’ve helped my grandchildren start a wildflower notebook just as my grandmother did for me. We press flowers and name them. My granddaughter took hers into school to show the teacher, who was very impressed.’
Laura, Isle of Wight
Where to take the grandchildren
Lyme Regis Museum, Dorset
Bridge Street, Lyme Regis DT7 3QA
01297 443370
We had a lovely day out here recently. There are lots of hands-on activities for children (to fill in) along with quizzes and plenty for adults too. You’ll learn all about fossils and the famous Victorian collector Mary Anning. There are also some guided fossil walks, but you need to book in advance.
If you’d like to recommend a family day out, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk
The funny things they do and say
‘My grandson has just started having spelling tests. ‘Why is a pear spelled differently from pair?’ he asked me. They sound just the same.’
I wasn’t sure how to answer that.
Tony, Manchester
Nor are we, Tony. It’s not easy learning to spell! But it does make you wonder who made up the rules, doesn’t it! Please keep sending us your ‘funnies’. You can email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Family News
Grandparents who spend more than 12 hours a week with their grandchildren are less likely to feel lonely, according to a study at Kings Hospital.
Do you agree? We’d love to hear from you. Please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Children’s Book of the Week
THIS IS A STORY by John Schu. Illustrations by Lauren Castillo. Walker Books. £12.99. For 3 years plus.
I loved this delightful, colourful hardback book about a child going with Dad to the library. On the way, they see all kinds of things like families playing in the park with kites. When they reach the library, dad helps his little one to choose a book. It’s a lovely pictorial ‘walk’ showing how stories can open our minds to the wonder of the world.
