If It’s Not One Thing, It’s The Other!


Do you sometimes worry about your grandchildren more than you did your own grandchildren? Me too. I do this even when they’re not on my watch!

Take this week when I was away for a few days. When I rang for a catch-up, my lovely daughter began with the dreaded words, ‘I didn’t want to worry you but….’

It turned out that that very day, five-year-old George had gone out into the garden to play. When he came running in a few minutes later he had a rash on his face. No one knows why. There aren’t any poisonous plants in the garden and all he was doing was running around on the lawn. Could it be early hay fever?

So my daughter took him to the doctor who gave him some cream and said he was fine to go school. Literally within five minutes of my poor daughter getting back, it was one of the teachers. George was fine but seven-year-old Rose had apparently been stung by a bee. At least that’s what she told the teacher although no one could find a sting in her arm.

Apparently, if a child is stung for the first time, he or she needs to go home in case they have a reaction. It seems quite sensible to me, but it does cause chaos in a working household.

The good news is that Rose doesn’t appear to have any adverse reaction. Maybe it wasn’t a bee after all. Who knows?

If anyone else has had experience of rashes from the garden, I’d love to know.

Hand Me Downs

Meanwhile, I’ve decided to have a purge. I’m not only going through my own old clothes. I’m also going through the clothes that my adult children have left behind.

‘Can’t you just throw them out?’ says my husband, who doesn’t have children.

‘No,’ I exclaim. My offspring might be between 32 and 39 but they still need a dedicated space. It makes them feel secure. Indeed, I can still remember feeling very hurt after my mother died and my stepfather got rid of our early childhood possessions.

However, I did agree to have a little rifle through and photograph certain possible giveaways to the original owners on WhatsApp.

Funnily enough, the boys were happy for me to give away the lot. But I can’t. What if that old rugby shirt fits George in five years or so? What if they become valuable antiques? Could an old school jumper fetch a few quid on Antiques Roadshow in 50 years’ time? And more important, do I want to give away my own memories of my children’s childhood, let alone theirs?

No. So back in the drawers they go.

Meanwhile, Rose has her beady eye on a beautiful green taffeta silk ballgown, which I had back in the 70s.

‘Oh Gan Gan, can I have that, please?’

Given that I was two sizes bigger than I am now and that the dress is about six sizes bigger than Rose, it’s not going to fit. But I’m going to give it to my daughter to have it altered for herself. Then in years to come, maybe she’ll pass it to Rose

It’s a nice feeling to think that my dress will keep on dancing!

Ask Agony Gran

“My son’s partner has become over-cautious, in my view, about washing my grandchildren’s hands. It started with the virus when we were all very nervous. But my grandsons (10 and six) aren’t allowed to touch anything now – including our dogs – without her instantly running their hands under the tap. Her own hands are red-raw from washing too. Have you got any thoughts?” Name withheld

Hygiene concept. Washing hands with soap

Pic: Shutterstock

Jane Says:

Sometimes people wash their hands a lot because it helps them feel they are in control of something else that they can’t control. I sympathise with your son’s partner. When I was at university, my parents got divorced and I became extremely anxious. It manifested itself in constant handwashing on my part.

A friend helped me by saying ‘What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t wash your hands?’  This helped, although to be honest, it went on for another two years or so until life began to stabilise a bit more.

The virus has unnerved most of us and many are still suffering the effects. I wonder what would happen if you started a conversation with your son’s partner about this. Maybe tell her that you can’t help feeling anxious at times when you go into crowded places, for example. Could you then say that you’ve noticed that her hands and the children’s hands are rather red and would she like to try out some new hand cream you’ve bought?

You don’t need to mention a possible link between hands and anxiety, but it could be an opening. It might or might not lead into a conversation. However, do be careful because you could easily give offence.

Do you feel able to talk to your son in confidence? Perhaps he is worried too. Good luck.

Granny Tip

I’ve just spent a lovely three days with an old school friend of mine whose grandson has recently turned one. She’s been teaching him his letters by holding up wooden letter shapes.

‘He’s very young to do that,’ I said, impressed.

‘I make funny faces to exaggerate each one,’ she said. ‘With ‘o’, I widen my mouth into a very wide ‘o’ for example. Then I repeat it several times. He thinks it’s great one. So far, he can recognise three letters.’  Then she demonstrated. I have to say I was really impressed!

If you’ve got any granny tips, do email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

The Funny Things They Do And Say

My first grandchild has just turned five. ‘I think you’re enough for me to start giving you pocket money,’ I told him.

‘But Granny, ‘ he said, looking really upset, ‘ I’m not wearing pockets today!’

Thanks to Babs for sharing this with us. Do continue to send us your funnies! moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Where To Take The Children

THE CHELMSFORD MYSTERY TREASURE TRAIL

Adults as well as children seem to love treasure trails, so this is a great one for the family. Enjoy cracking codes together and finding clues.

Wharf Road, Chelmsford, CM2 6LU.

Tel 01872 263692

www.treasuretrails.co.uk

If you’d like to recommend a day out, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Feedback

Thanks to Jan for sending this in.

“I sympathised with your predicament in last week’s column about not being able to help out with the grandchildren because of illness. There’ve been times when I’ve been poorly or had an appointment which I couldn’t change which meant I couldn’t do my granny day. Although my daughter was understanding, it caused a lot of inconvenience because she had to take time off from work.

“Since then, I asked a granny friend if we could be mutual ‘emergency back- ups’. We’ve only had to do this once so far but it worked because our grandchildren are friends and because my friend and I are both very safety-conscious.”

Family News

About 1.7 million children are regularly ‘absent’ from school according to latest figures.  This is thought to be a result of mental health problems and families being used to staying at home because of lockdowns. More than 125,000 children are what are known as ‘ghost children’ who have little or no schooling at all. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Children’s Book Of The Week

AN ANTHOLOGY OF AESOP’S FAMILY FABLES by Helen Ward. Templar Publishing. £9.99. For six years upwards.

Some stories last through the ages, don’t they?  Aesop’s Fables is one. This re-telling of favourite tales is a book to keep for ever. Each animal gives us a lesson for life.


Jane Corry is a journalist and best-selling Sunday Times novelist, published by Penguin. Her new book COMING TO FIND YOU is about two women who live in the same seaside house, eighty years apart. You can pre-order by clicking here. amzn.to/3FD7sMp.