Diary Of A Modern Gran | Podcasts
I have a confession. I’ve never really understood podcasts properly. Have you? I mean I know that it’s something you can log into and hear someone talking – usually about a particular subject. But I don’t know much more.
At least I didn’t until my youngest started his own podcast, 101 Part Time Jobs with Giles Bidder, about interviewing musicians and the part-time jobs they did before they were famous (like delivering pizza or digging graves). And now here I am, at an award ceremony in a swanky big hall near King’s Cross station, where my son has been shortlisted in the music category at the Independent Podcast Awards.
My chest is swollen with emotion. I’m so proud of him for getting this far! Next to me is his lovely girlfriend and some of my son’s friends going back to teenage days, who’ve come along to support him.
Perhaps I should say here that after my first marriage ended, I was the full-time carer for my youngest son. We had some great times, but I know he’ll agree that there were also some challenging moments too! In fact, I developed a reputation for the fussiest mother in town – but that was only because I would panic if he wasn’t home on the dot when he said he’d be.
I also had a reputation for ringing his friends to check where he was. Fast forward more than 15 years, and here we all are! His friends are giving me big warm hugs: they are grown men with responsible jobs and many are fathers too.
It really brings a lump to my throat, and it also reminds me of how fast children grow up – even though it doesn’t seem like that at the time.
It’s a nail-biting ceremony. The shortlist names are on a huge screen in front of us, and there are several other categories before music. Then comes my son’s turn. He hasn’t won but he’s still done so well!
“It’s a real achievement that you were shortlisted,” I say, leaning across the row to squeeze his hand.
“Thanks, Mum,” he says. His lovely girlfriend has already made him a miniature award which I thought was really sweet.
In front of me, are the winners of a podcast called “Untangling Teenagers”. I could have done with that a few years ago! But it’s definitely made me determined to find out more about podcasts. I thought I’d pass this on in case it inspires you to do the same. After all, we have to keep up with them, don’t we!
After that, I stayed on in London for another two days because I was attending the press night for the Koestler awards. These are prizes given to men and women in prison for writing and art. When my first marriage ended, I needed a more regular income so I applied for a job as a writer in residence of a high security male prison.
I didn’t really want the job, but I did need the financial security. To my surprise, I found great satisfaction in helping men to write stories, letters and poetry. The aim was to help them to express their feelings and face their crimes as part of a “stop-reoffending” process when they were released.
For the last eight years, I have also been a judge for the Koestler life story awards. This rather intrigues my grandchildren.
“Mummy says you were in prison,” George piped up the other day outside the school gates. Everyone turned to look at me.
“No,” said Rose with the authority of a big sister. “She worked in a prison.”
I do hope everyone’s got that clear.
However, I was horribly aware that many people had been hurt, or worse, by those I was working with. I just hoped that my sessions would be part of a turning-round process.
After that, I felt in need of some light relief so I went to the Chanel exhibition at the Victoria & Albert museum. It’s open until January 25 and I can thoroughly recommend it. The outfits are amazing, and the story of Gabrielle Chanel‘s life was extraordinary.
The layout was incredible: lots of black and silver with stunning lighting. My one luxury in life is Chanel Number 5. So I took a photograph of myself holding my perfume spray in front of one of the mirrors!
Seven-year-old Rose also loves Chanel – she’s obviously got good taste! Sometimes I put a little squirt on her wrist as a treat just as my own grandmother would give me a dab of lavender water on mine.
Meanwhile, I am seriously missing my grandchildren. I’ve been talking to them every evening but it’s not the same. Besides – it’s time to come home, judging from the weather forecast. I managed to get the last train back before the lines were down with the storms.
I have to say that the guard was absolutely brilliant; he walked up and down, checking that everyone was alright. In fact I tweeted a thank-you to Southwest Rail. It’s so easy to complain nowadays, isn’t it, so I feel it’s important to give credit where credit is due.
Phew! I’m going to be back in time to do my weekly school run. But then I get a 7am phone call. “School’s closed today because of the storm,” says my daughter. “Do you mind coming round to look after the children so I can work?”
Mind? Of course I don’t. In fact, I’m round like a shot, partly because I’m propelled by the wind and rain.
“How was London?” ask Rose and George when I arrive soaking wet. “Did you see the King?”
(They’re rather obsessed by the monarchy after receiving letters from the Queen three years ago in reply to theirs. I was very impressed that they got replies via a lady in waiting.)
“No,” I said. “I didn’t.”
“Never mind,” said George, slipping a comforting hand into mine. “Maybe next time.”
Agony Gran
“My husband and I divorced years ago, before our children had children of their own. Now we have three lovely grandchildren by our son. My husband and I both live within two hours’ distance. We usually visit them at different times. Although we speak to each other when we have to, I won’t say we’re friendly. The other day, my son invited me over for one of my grandchildren’s birthday parties. As I arrived, I saw my husband leaving with his partner. It made me feel really upset for lots of different reasons. Part of me couldn’t help thinking that if we had stayed together, we would have provided a better grandparent unit. I can’t get this out of my head.” Name withheld
Jane says:
I’m so sorry. You’re not alone. Many others feel like this, but here are some thoughts that might help you. Remind yourself of why you got divorced in the first place. Would you really want to go back? It’s all too easy to think that the grass might have been greener if you had made a different decision. Changes in life, whether we have been responsible for them or not, bring different opportunities and paths.
Yes – it does seem nice to think of the children having what some might call a “proper grandparent unit”. But what is that nowadays? Families today come in all shapes and sizes.
It can be very supportive for grandchildren to be in contact with all their grandparents, even if this means meeting up at different times. If you do end up being at the same occasion, it’s obviously helpful if everyone can put their differences to one side.
It can also be a lesson for grandchildren to know that couples can split up but still get on. If someone makes a difficult comment, do your best to rise above it for the sake of the children.
Good luck.
The Funny Things They Say
“My seven-year-old grandson got very worried when I told him that the clocks were going back.”
“Where are they going?” he asked. “Will they come back again?” Monica
This made us chuckle. Thanks!
Postbag: New Granny
“In last week’s column, you asked if anyone had recently become a granny for the first time. I have! My daughter and son-in-law adopted a five-year-old earlier this year. I have to admit that I wasn’t sure how I feel as he isn’t related by blood. But I’ve fallen in love already! We do lots of jigsaws together, and he’s already calling me Granny. In fact, he has lit up my life.” Name withheld
That’s really lovely. We are so thrilled to hear it.
Postbag: I Don’t Want To Be A Full-time Gran Either
“I was really interested to read the agony gran letter from the reader who doesn’t want to be a full-time grandmother. I am a ‘two hours a month’ granny and that suits me fine. I think I can offer more quality support than some of my friends who are constantly exhausted by doing it all the time.” Name withheld
Family News
The maternity safety alliance (made up of bereaved families) has asked the health secretary for an investigation after repeated maternity scandals. If your family has suffered, you can get support from www.maternitysafetyalliance.co.uk.
Grandparent Tip
“I’ve found a new car game to play with my grandchildren. I’ll give them a word and they have to spell it backwards. They do the same to me. It passes the time on long journeys and it’s great fun! Tom
Days Out With The Grandchildren
This week our chosen attraction is Exmoor Zoo, Barnstaple. Tel: 01598 763352, www.exmoorzoo.co.uk.
Visit Bagheera, the new black leopard at Exmoor Zoo in Devon which is open all the year round. Children can be junior keepers for the day and have birthday parties there.
Children’s Book Of The Week
This really informative book is our pick of the week.
A Really Short Journey Through The Body by Bill Bryson (author) and Emma Young (illustrator). Puffin, £20.89 (hardback).
What is the biggest organ in your body? Why are your eyes back to front? Why can your brain see into the future?
Find out the answers in this amazing book. I’m definitely buying this one for my grandchildren’s stocking. P.S. The answer to the first question is “skin”. Well, I never knew that…
If you’d like to get in touch or share your favourite books or days out, please email us at moderngran@dcthomson.co.uk.
